Crow’s Feet

October 27th, 2011

by: Kelly Barnes

Everyone wants to be liked, right? It seems that this is one of the first basic
desires by humans and one that lasts forever.
At one time or another everyone has said; “I don’t care what people
think of me” but that is just not true.
We may, at times, not care what one person thinks of us but when you are
setting on the other side of the interview table, meeting a new prospect or
being introduced to a new person, you care what they think. So, how do we become more likable? I recently read an interview with Guy
Kawasaki, former Chief Evangelist for Apple and current author, columnist,
blogger, venture capitalist… and this is what he offered in the ways of being
likable:

1)
A big natural “George Clooneyesque” smile. In this case crow’s feet is a good thing. Guy says that “you can never have too many crow's feet. Anybody who thinks you shouldn't smile in business is a loser." A smile is the one universal symbol that conveys the same thing to everyone.

2) A warm approach. A great handshake and nice greeting starts things off the right way. Don't be to firm, too soft or to eager with your approach. A handshake that is tight and overbearing say's that you think you may be superior. If you use the “dead fish” or soft handshake it comes across as if you are timid. If you are too eager and act like a 12 year old girl meeting Justin Beaber you just come across weird. When meeting someone for the first time practice being warm and genuine in your approach.

3) The right attire. Our current culture has accepted leisure wear to a fault. There is nothing wrong with casual dress, I love nothing more than wearing a pair of jeans, cowboy boots and a t-shirt, but only when the situation allows. When planning an outfit for a conference, business meeting or new encounter with a prospect remembers the following... Don't dress too casual. It says that you
do not respect the event or people attending enough to dress like they have to
dress. Don't dress to formal. Showing up to a conference or lunch meeting in a 3 piece suit when everyone is wearing business causal can give the impression that you think you are a little above everyone else. Dress at the same level of the people you are meeting.

If you want to be liked by others and have the ability to win others over remember this rule; interested before interesting. If you are genuinely interested in others
they will think you are interesting. Make the meeting or conversation about them. Ask questions, learn their story and most importantly...LISTEN.

Persist…

October 13th, 2011

by: Kelly Barnes

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid sould who neither know victory nor defeat.” Theadore Roosevelt.

Life is tough. For most of us, just when you think everything is going your way, you will receive that round house kick to your spirit that laughingly say’s; “did you really thing it was that easy!” For some of us, just when you think life could not get any worse… well, it does.

Recently, I have found there is promise in pain and hope in the heartwrenching and sometimes vacant voids that we seem to find ourselves in. Here are a couple thoughts that have helped me.

1) If you can’t control it, don’t let it control you. Far to much time is spent worrying about the circumstances that you have no control over. The wasted energy, time, brain power and emotion will only drag you down farther. Instead, ask yourself these two question.

1. What is the worst that could happen? Could you lose your job, a friendship, a client… If everything falls apart what is the worst end result?

2. What can I do to prevent that? What can you actually do? This does not mean “If I would have done this…” Don’t dwell on what got you here but what is going to get you out of here.

2) Seek wise council. Surround yourself with people that have experience dealing with the situation you are in. Also, find those people who will listen. Sometimes we do not need a sounding board but rather a listening board. Someone who will sit for a few minutes or hours and just listen to you vent. I have found that after I express my thoughts out loud most of my worries escape with the words I am saying.

3) Look at things differently. Perception is a tricky thing. What are you focusing on? Chances are, you are only thinknig about the negative. In most cases, not all but most, there is something to gain, learn, or benefit from every situation. What good could come from the place you currently find yourself.

It is amazing; “when you look at things differently, you see different things.”

Good luck and persist.